Wednesday 5 September 2012

Bollywud Inflicted !!!....

Hidda mah Dearies !!! :)

“Bollywood inflicted !!”
....Inflicted ?!!
Yes, “Bollywood inflicted with an Epidemic !!”
…Epidemic ?!!
Yes, “Bollywud Inflicted with the Epidemic of a Fever !!”
…Fever ?!!
Yes, “Bollywud Inflicted big Time with the ZHK Fever !!!”
….ZHK Fever ?!!......

Chalo chhodo ye sab confusion. Ye bolo, how r u all ?!!
Oye aisa hai, ki innne saare din se twaade naal gal nai kitti si, te, saanu wadda madda madda, [bura bura ie] lag raa si…..te mai aa gayi apni bak bak de naal, twaade darbaar wich !! :)

Abhi kuchh din hue hum
“Ek tha Tiger,
Ek Tigrina,
dono mil gaye
bani Kahaani !!”….se guzre hain….jahaa ki long lost frnds Big Cat Salman and Cool Kattie Katrina bowled us over with their Chemistry, or so we have to believe !! :)

Of late…we have Hot Shot Kareena in Madhur Bhandarkar’s “Heroine” !! pata hai kya she was hell-bent on making a Different ie Hat Ke Item Number in it called the Hat Ke…oops I mean “Halkat Jawaani”, a better and more oomph than chikni chameli etc etc …..and after all the huffs and puffs, wat we actually see is a complete disaster of an item number…..Zaraa Hat Ke ke chakkar mey ekdum Hateli ho gaili hai !! :))))

Arre koi mohtarama ko samjhao ki Devi ji, you already have a one-up from the rest. Kaise?! Wo aise ki she has the most important requisite and asset in that, that She-Can-Act !!! :) then why this desperation ?? par nahi, maaneingi kahaa……Zaraa Hat Ke kuchh karna hai naa….Itttem number mey bhi…..see !! tch tch…

Aur maalum, Bhandarkar had approached her at the very outset, for Fashion, but Bebo Babes ke paas time nai tha…..
Then again it was she whom he approached for Heroine too, but fir se, she cudnt and the role was offered to Big B Bahu, Ash !! now wen she ‘reported sick’ with pregnancy, Madhur again went beseechingly to Kareena…..aaurr unki praarthna finally sweekar hui aur she agreed to do Heroine !! :)…..now that neither Ashie, nor Kattie dearest can actually Act….Bebo shud rest her fears in peace lekin nai….apne man ki hi kari naa Kareena, kya karein !! :/

Ek aur movie that came was a light romantic [ahem…:))] comedy Shirin Farhad ki toh nikal padi….. which bombed at the box office…..but so what, Farah Khan and Bomman Irani are hardly desperate for a hit movie…they enjoyed this movie as it is….i sometimes wonder though, who or what must have gotten the idea of the Hero being a UGs Salesman !!....kahin ye bhi Zaraa Hat Ke [ZHK] fever epidemic toh nahi !! :)))

Ab yahaa ek baar fir tawajjo chaahungi Kawaateen-o-Hazraat !! ek aur Fully Faltu Fillum hai…. ‘Joker’ !! Jo Jum kar Jokerpanti karne wali hai !!! :)ab ye toh Zaraa Hat Ke fever se bahut severly grasit hai re baba !!....
- Chitrangada Singh !! ab Who ?! mat poochhna….the sexy damsel of Desi Boyz….why was and is she not getting her due in bollywud I fail to understand !! anyways she was asked for this Item Number clled ‘Kafirana’in Joker, by Farah Khan jinke dimaag ki batti jali in a Beauty Parlour where she chanced upon Ms Singh……..despite the fact that she confessed she had never dn anything like that before….bcoz farah wanted it to be Zara Hat Ke……lo bolo !!
-Ab is item number mey outfit kuchh Laavani jaisa hai, but Farah says Laavani toh bahut saari aa rahi hain toh humne ise Zara Hat Ke banaya hai….its a bollywud mix…:))

Now, aur suno…becoz it had Maharashtrian lingo, the lyricist in the aim of making the main sentence Zara Hat Ke as “I want fakht you, I want fakht you, baby I want fakht you”……now now…. ‘Fakht’ meaning ‘just’ you, or only you…..toh….ahem…to save their necks from controversy, they made it “Just” !! phew…. :))

-Achha baat yahi khatm nahi hoti….they again have a Zaraa Hat Ke song…..so they claim ie…..in which in a single song, they have used all of 10 languages to ask the audience to Dance !!! :)))…and that is sung by Daler paaji [:)))] and Sonu Kakkar !!
Toh ye toh hadd hi ho gayi Zaraa Zyaada hi Hat ke….hain jee ?!! :))

Achchha aur pata hai kya, aajkal Sonakshi is air borne !!! haa bhai bahut hawaa mey ud rahi hai with lots of hits lately….what with Dabangg, Rowdy Rathore, and now Joker…..ab in deviji ko koi samjhaaye ki she’s actually a well sort after option to cast as a heroine opposite Veterans or to be Veterans like Akshay, Sallu miya etc….the same way as Jaya aunties [arre Jaya prada baba !! :)))] and Amrita Singhs were cast in the past opposite the likes of Dharam paaji, Shatru Sahab, Vinod Khanna etc !! :)) she has even gone on to say that she is replacing Katrina in her endorsement ventures !! again hadd hai bhai mugaalatein paalney ki !! :)

Ek aur pitcchher aane wali hai…a Zara Hat Ke movie in which Sri is making her Come back with a Bang !! ohho, apni Sridevi !! yes she’s coming in a movie called ‘English-vinglish’ !! where she’s looking super gorgeous and acting even better !! :)
 some mast dialogues too r there eg, an American asks, how will you survive in America, without knowing English? To which a an Indian working at the same counter answers stat…. “the same way as You Survive in India without knowing Hindi !!!” :)….m sure it will have a lot of claps from the audience every once in a while and a feel-gud-feeling for every Indian Housewife too !! :)

Ab last but not the least ek super cute movie to reckon with, is, “Barfi” !! :)
Its gonna show Ranbir in yet another endearing persona. He plays a deaf-mute in the flick and our Piggy Chops, apni Priyanka ie….a grl suffering frm Autism !! ab dekhna kittna jam ke over acting kareingi apni PC…wo kehte hain naa ki Diyaa bujhne ke pehle zor se bhabhaktaa hai !! waise hi !! :)))

Bole toh….oops….sorry, yahaa bole toh to hai hi nahi !! :) yu ki Ranbir Screeeeeamed Shouuuuuted, aaaaarghed, yellllled so much in Rockstar ki sab bole, bas kar !! ab chup !! ekkkdummmChupppp !!...u know naa…Zara Hat Ke !! :)))))
Having said that, he’s gonna mesmerize the audience with his mannerisms, expressions and innocence…giving a slightest tinge of Raj Kapoor’s that x-factor which reached out to the hearts of millions of audiences !! amen :)

Ab yahaa ek aur character hai who’s my personal favourite, and that’s Ileane d’cruz…playing ‘Shruti’- The Narrator !!!!! :) :) :) ….ab what cud be better befitting Fr Shruti than being the Narrator ?!! bolo bhalaa !! :)
aur maze ki baat, for this role…of Shruti ie [:)…can’t help, can I ?! :)))]….who was approached first, was none other than Katrina !!! :) [boy….am I luvin it !! :))]….which she unfortunately refused !! siiigh !! :/

Toh bhaiyaa, itttna saara Zara Hat Ke bolte bolte bolte bolte bhi, all that Bollywud ends up with is lots of…..Golmaals 1,2,3,4…..Don 1,2…Dabangg 1,2…..Jism tak bhi 1,2….Raaz 1,2,3…..Murder 1,2,3……aur toh aur Jannat ko bhi nahi bakshaa1,2…etc etc etc…endless sequels….in the hope of recreating the same magic…….bigger siiiigh !! :/

Anyways I toh is mayanagari ke mayajaal se nikalti hu….penning off with the prayer that Bollywud “Get-Well-Soon” ho jaaye from this epidemic….. asking God to send lots of Paracetamol their way !!! :)

So all of u out there….once again….Gud nite….sleep tight…..take care….see ya soon !! From me here at Page-3 !! :)
-Shruti :)